I'll be seeing you

Today is Basil's viewing
and I believe
that tomorrow is his burial.

This all feels so surreal. And it's all very quick and sudden.
I wish I could be at home right now, to pay my last respects, to offer a shoulder, to give my condolences.
The past two days has been facebook messages and phone calls and msn and reminiscing and discussion over how ridiculous this all is.

memories keep flooding back.
regret keeps seeping in.
and i'm still shocked. still stunned.
and i'm feeling pretty useless over here.
and i haven't cried yet, but i've been on the verge for two days.
it just doesn't feel real.

and i'm lighting a candle, and i'm keeping everyone in my thoughts, and i know you'll all make it through.


and for good measure, just one last time:
"Rrrrrrr"

see you later, Basil.