Heidelburg, Germany. Where to start, where to start.
The intention for Steph and I to venture to this German ghost town was to appease my ever growing compulsion to constantly and always and forever listen to Tegan and Sara. For months I had the con on repeat, had downloaded and bought new music by them, finally succumbing to their terribly smart indy pop after a couple of years of resistance. It wasn't that i didn't like them before, it was just that I never had the opportunity or time to give them much more than a couple of spots on a ipod playlist. And the Con being the last album on my itunes before moving, well, I guess it just made me think of home a lot...and of course, its a brilliant record... seriously. I am happy I finally gave a chance to the band that Crystal tried for nearly 6 years to get me to listen to, and that Caroline forced down my throat during her 'I like folk music and will only listen to ani di franco and one tegan and sara song for a month' phase two years ago. And I really do enjoy the music they put out, I appreciate it a lot, and find comfort in it... I think that music, at times, can be a great source of comfort...and for whatever reason, when I was homesick after first moving here I found myself really enjoying their music. And as well, when mom got diagnosed, and I was out here feeling like I was by myself, I found that their music not only provided comfort but sometimes a distraction. So I guess I got a bit invested while being out here. And beyond the music itself, I do respect the girl's as artists and as musicians working in the industry. The integrity of their music has not faltered despite increasing fame, they've fought against and continue to blur and transcend boundaries and labels, and they've actively sought and built a healthy relationship with their fans that many bands rarely have the ability or the inclination to do.
Ok ok, seriously, enough ass kissing.
So because I had this new appreciation, when I found out that they were coming to Europe (after having initially missed them in the Summer) I quickly bought tickets. We chose the show in Heidelburg because Steph had a friend living there and because it was on a Saturday and because it was the closest place we could travel to by train...well, close as in, 6 hours away.
Now Steph having been to Heildelburg already - and knowing how small of a city it is- , combined with my knowledge of their accessibility to fans, lead to the general realization that there was a slight possibility we could meet the girls. However neither of us were willing to speak such a thought aloud. In part because we didn't want to jinx ourselves, and in part because I didn't want anyone to think I was a crazy stalker fan bent on meeting them.....erm...anyways.
When we arrived in Heidelburg, I quickly discovered how small of a city it was. It was about a ten minute walk to the downtown district, which was probably a half hour walk from our hotel - almost on the outskirts of town - which was about a 15 minute walk to the train station which was ten minutes to downtown - did you get all that? downtown consisted of one main street where all the shops were - after some snack buying and searching around american apparel and the like, steph and I wound up at the end of the main street, heading towards the venue about 5 hours early. Our plan was to maybe catch a glimpse of the band hanging around their tour bus. However, as we walked toward what seemed like a small city square, my attention was quickly directed towards a tiny little girl dressed in all black wearing pretty cool shoes and hanging with a tall blonde girl. The two seemed to appear in mid air, were suddenly in front of us looking at the Heidelburg map. As we walked by them, or stopped near them, we were very close nonetheless, I pointed them out to Stephanie saying something along the lines of 'what do you think of that little girl?'.
Now, Steph, for some reason, had no clue what I was talking about. She seemed confused and later admitted that a) she thought I liked her shoes and b) she didn't possibly think it could be tegan and or sara because they weren't together, and weren't they always together? and c) the girl I pointed out, as we approached from behind/side looked about 14 years old because she was so incredibly tiny. And of course I said 'what do you think of this little girl' quite loud, assuming that it was probably just some small German kid anyhow with a resemblance to the twins, so Steph just looked at me like 'what the hell are you talking about'. I on the other hand knew a couple of things to steer me into questioning whether or not the kid in front of us was actually just some German kid or was one of them - a) tegan and sara are tiny. they always seem taller or something on stage or in interviews but from what I had read, the girls are small. b) tegan and sara are pale As we continued our approach I noticed that this girl was in fact pretty pale - but with her hat covering most of her face and what would have been a tell tale hair cut and with a slight quarter of a profile to go off of, I actually didn't know. For some reason, most of the dawdling around the map is a blur, but I remember getting a good look at her shoes - but for the life of me I can't remember if I stood near her or just walked impossibly close by them. Anyways, Steph continued to walk towards the venue and I stopped her and looked back at the couple. After some hesitation, and while still quite near them (ie probably in ear shot), I told Steph to check her out while I went to look at the other side of the map. I did the whole 'we are here' while steph stood near their side of the map - and about 20 seconds later she shot over to my side to nod and tell me that it was them - she thinks - that she couldn't remember exactly what they looked like, but yeah, she looked at her and she's pretty sure - but she didn't know which one of them. by this time the two girls had left in the direction we had been walking away from in the first place, and I bounced up and down trying to figure out what to do.
"did she have a labret piercing?"
"i don't know, i couldn't see, it was quick"
"ok lets go"
and with that we started out behind them, quickly discovering they were going to the Heidelburg castle.
Now for some reason, maybe in an effort to ditch us, little-maybe-german-girl-or-maybe-tegan-or-maybe-sara and her girlfriend, decided to take the steepest entry to the castle. I was sick with a cold and was holding half an eaten chocolate ball and was suffering from pretty intense anxiety and was walking on a 90 degree angle and was so not impressed with that freaking hill. As we huffed and puffed our way up, we would stop when they would, trying to catch our breath or get rid of our chocolate balls which were undoubtedly weighing us down. At this point I still had no clue who the people in front of us were and was secretly hoping it wouldn't be one of them so that I wouldn't have to meet them all sweaty and out of breath and coughing up my lungs. They made it to the top and looked around, and Steph soon got there after them and eventually I made it up, just in time to see them walk away into another part of the castle. I didn't know who they were and at that point I was pretty sure I didn't care. I just wanted to sit down for a moment, fix my hair, and not be sick anymore.
Figuring that we lost them, Steph and I went to the other part of the castle (the only other part open and that we could get to) - which hosted several lookouts. I kinda grumbled that I thought we lost them, when Steph said 'no' and pointed them out. She asked me what I was going to do and I replied I don't know, what the hell should I do. She asked me if I was going to say something. And I said 'what the hell am I going to say, I'm not even sure its her...what would I say?' Again, I got nervous and stood somewhat frozen in one place. When they finally walked by us to get to the other side of the castle, I, for the first time, finally got a good look - and yup - it was Tegan....or ... Sara?
I had somewhat decided, based on deductions (wearing all black, has a girlfriend whereas I'm not sure whether or not Sara does) that this little girl was probably not a little German kid, but was Tegan - a part of me questioned that maybe it was Sara, but I had gotten a good enough look to believe it was one of them. I walked around the lookout where the other tourists were casually hanging, tried to take some picture, but the nervousness or excitement or something of it all was certainly getting to me. 'ok ok, lets go find them' I decided.
We walked through the castle a bit more, certain, again, that we had lost them. There was a museum, Steph mentioned, that they could have gone into. There was a lot more direction for them that we were somewhat outside the boundaries of the castle. I figured I had missed my opportunity - until, Steph with her amazing contacts (me without glasses) spotted them walking. We headed in their direction, but when they stopped to talk to someone, my stomach flipped and we walked right by, stopping a little while later, not completely outside of the castle but close enough to the road that would lead us back into the city.
Steph questioned what I was going to do - because if I wasn't going to do anything, then we should probably just leave and stop following them. BUT WERE WE FOLLOWING? Technically we didn't know, for half the time, like, we hadn't confirmed, it was them, and even as we stood there I still questioned it a bit. I imagined myself going up to some girl and telling her I was excited for her concert and then having her give me a totally blank look. Except we had, in our travels, around the castle heard them speak, so I knew they weren't German and that yeah, despite the nagging gut feeling that was probably just trying to stop me from making a fool of myself, it was probably her. I kept saying I didn't know what I was going to do. Steph urged me to go on or to make a decision and I kept trying to get her to wait, and eventually Tegan and her girlfriend walked by us again, down the road that would lead back to the city. We started up behind them, thinking that it was becoming painstakingly obvious that yeah, maybe we were following.
At some point down that road, they stopped, and Steph convinced me that this was a once in a life time chance and I either do it or not. So I marched down there, went up to Tegan and blurted "sorry for following you back there". I mumbled a few other things - excited for the show, congrats on the juno nomination, something else that she said thank you to - it last a total of ten seconds. She was incredibly polite, but not in the talkative mood, and considering what a bumbling fool I had become I was ok to just keep on walking, she told us to enjoy the sights, and Steph and I were on our way.
Then I turned back and asked for a photo - if they didn't mind, apologized quite a bit, pretty much came off like the nervous fool I knew I was going to act like. Tegan commented on my 'fancy shmancy camera' - and well after a couple of shots and some fooling with the settings, we were off - but with Tegan and her girlfriend now following us. We tried our best to shake them, because we didn't want it to seem like we were serious stalkers - just the novice / mild type - and went down a series of side streets, winding up back on the main street. Where, oddly, we saw them again, 100 feet ahead of us. A little ridiculous, but unplanned, and really goes to show how small that town is.
As we walked around Heidelburg, Steph contemplated getting a hair cut, but the salon was closing and as we walked down the street I started feeling incredibly sick and a bit feverish. I requested that we find somewhere for dinner so I could get some water and sit down. We found a small restaurant, and ordered food - of which I barely ate anything. As we were discussing the band, the concert, meeting Tegan (I felt a bit like an idiot for the whole castle thing and the whole sounding like a giant tool thing) and as this discussion went on, Steph looked out the window and commented "isn't that Sara" - and it was.
Around this time I had finally sent a few text messages out to Emma, Nadia, and Gilberto letting them know we had met Tegan (I had struggled getting connection to call Gilberto just after it happened)- as I knew they would be excited or at least feign excitement for our sake. And so I sent them another one as Sara walked by. And another one five minutes later when Tegan walked by.
I didn't eat much and our dinner ended quite short. We left and walked down the main street, and not more than two minutes later did Steph point out that we were headed right for Sara and the band. Deciding not to make a fool of myself like I had before, I went straight up to them (no sly walking around and spying this time) and apologized for interrupting and stated that we were excited for the show that night.
Sara was amazing. She asked us where we were from, what we did, and spoke about the language barrier in Europe. It was all pretty funny and light and I even got to embarrass Bec (who wasn't there) by sharing her story about messing up her french when talking about being excited for mountains. I didn't feel like a tool (maybe because I hadn't just walked up a ridiculous hill and maybe because I wasn't embarrassed for following a person around) and felt like Sara and the band were really personable. I don't know how to explain it..but it just seemed like a pretty natural conversation. We took a quick picture 'I'll get in the middle' (I didn't even hear her say that, but Steph says that she did), congratulated her on the Junos, and said 'well, see you in an hour'.
We walked away with two big smiles on our faces, Steph - although she won't qualify it was the best day ever since being here - was pretty fucking excited as well and kept saying how cool that was - and I nearly threw up - because I was sick or because I was so excited I don't know why. But really its me, I always feel like throwing up, so thats not new. Anyhow, it was pretty cool and really appreciated.
The concert itself was held in a tiny club, and we wound up just one or two people from the stage. Northern State opened for the band and put on an amazing show - seriously, people, listen to them. I was almost, ALMOST, happy enough just to see them. NORTHERN STATE. you won't regret it. Tegan and Sara did a great set and it was great to see them. They performed quite a few older songs along with most of the con. I was surprised by a couple of choices, but really happy that they played them because I found the live version of a song like 'i bet it stung' does it a lot more justice than the recorded version ever could. Furthermore, I'm happy that some of the songs got a bit of a change up for the liver version - living room obviously sounds more folky on record but live its got a great rock tone to it. as well, the con - the single - also had a different sound to it when they performed live. Its really a testament to the band when they can perform already great songs and change them up slightly so the audience doesn't feel like they're just listening to the album really loud. The banter was also pretty entertaining, however, Steph and I shot each other looks when Tegan began talking about walking around the Heildelburg castle and how it reminded her of following people home from the airport. Given the context of what she was talking about (relationships, her parents divorce) we didn't put too much weight on the fact that we had happened to kind of maybe possibly not totally intentionally (because we didn't know it was her for sure and because once you get up there there isn't really anywhere to go) followed her around that castle and decided that the two (her thinking of following people home from the air port, and us kind of maybe possibly following her around the castle) were totally unrelated. All and all, the show part, you know, the whole reason we were there, was great and didn't disappoint - if I had to do one thing over, I wouldn't have taken as many pictures, or I would have learned the settings on my camera for concert photos ahead of time.
Steph and I befriended some American's at (because that is what we do when we travel, all the time, no fail, befriend American's) who later gave us a ride to the train station - admist a playful argument over who was the better twin and discussion of Degrassi.
I also bought myself and Laura a t shirt, and I bought myself a poster. I later discovered that the t shirt was pretty snug, so Gilberto is now taking care of it until I can get in it and not have Tegan's face look all discombobulated.
Anyway, it was pretty great. and I think that, the whole day meant a lot because I had...I duno, been using music - and particularly their music - as a comfort blanket while shit was hitting the fan. I mean, I'm not delusional enough to ever say 'music saved my life' or 'music is my life' and its not as if the music is tailor made for me and its not as if I only listen to it when its dark and gloomy... But, it has provided an outlet, I guess. And to be able to see them in concert, or even say hey ' congrats on this, and im exicted for that' to actually be able to show some sort of appreciation well...its nice I guess, and maybe I sound like a bit of a nerd for saying so, but I'm pretty happy it happened.
and now that you have made it to the end of the blog, i reward you with photos.
Dana, Tegan, Steph
Steph, Sara, Dana(I want to state that if I ever meet an artist again, I will probably not ask for a photo. I feel like you treat them like a landmark or something...maybe its just because we were in Germany, traveling, but still. I don't think I'd do it again)
Northern State
Tegan and Sara
Tegan
Sara
Gilberto in our Tegan and Sara shirt (he was in Turkey that weekend, and on Sunday the three of us met in Basel for the day - he wore the shirt on the train ride back)
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